The Best Is Yet To Come
by AllusionToAnIllusion
Summary: In her opinion, her birthday can quietly come and go each year. It's not a big deal, nothing to fuss over. But the people around her usually have a different plan. Co-authored by bexiboo900 and AllusionToAnIllusion.
1. Chapter 1

_We know Kate's birthday is in November but we had a reason for waiting. A certain someone's birthday happens to be coming up and this is our birthday present to them. Happy birthday, Elle (daphnebeauty for those who don't know her)! We hope you like it._

_Disclaimer: We'll leave the actual show up to our amazing king, Andrew Marlowe. However, that doesn't mean we'd be opposed to guest starring. _

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><p>Kate groaned and rolled over. She opened one eye just a little, just enough to see the display of the clock on her nightstand. 6:42am.<p>

She sighed and shut her eye again, before snuggling down into the pillow. Her covers were pulled up around her head and she clung to them, keeping them tightly wrapped around her. The heating still wasn't on in her building - even though it was November - and she was freezing.

Well, not actually_freezing_. She remembered all too clearly how it felt to freeze to death, to feel your blood slowing in your veins, to lie there helplessly as your brain relinquished control of your body. She'd always hated being cold, but now every time an icy breeze caressed her skin the memories of her time trapped in the freezer came rushing back to her, almost crippling her with their weight.

Her phone started to ring, ripping her from her reverie. It was too shrill, shattering the early morning stillness of her apartment. She fumbled blindly on the nightstand for the device. Her hand closed around it and she brought it to her ear, keeping her eyes tightly shut. She used her thumb to feel for the button to connect the call, and clicked it.

"Beckett." She cursed inwardly. Her voice sounded like she'd been drinking sand. She waited for dispatch to give her an address, but that voice never came.

"No, Katie, it's me." Kate sat bolt upright in bed, her eyes flying open. She barely even registered the harsh sunlight streaming through a crack in the blinds, how her eyes desperately wanted to squeeze shut again.

"Dad? What's wrong?" She managed to keep the panic she felt from her voice, but she could do nothing to suppress the nausea rising in her stomach.

Jim chuckled. "Why does something have to be wrong for me to call my daughter?"

A little of Kate's panic ebbed away, although she was still far from relaxed. "Its 6:45am Dad."

"I wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday." Kate glanced at the clock on her nightstand once again, this time checking the date underneath the time.

November 17th. Today was her 32nd birthday.

Kate decided not to mention to her father that she'd managed to completely forget her birthday. It would only worry him. "That's very sweet of you, Daddy. Thank you."

Kate could hear her father's smile in his voice. "You're welcome. Got any plans for today?"

She let out a sharp bark of laughter that rang in her ears and reminded her how early it was. "Yeah. Work."

She heard her father sigh on the other end, and rubbed her hand over her face. If she'd had a little more time to prepare for his call, she could have concocted some elaborate plan for her day. She hadn't meant to tell him the truth and cause that sigh, the one that seemed to come from the very core of his being.

She snapped back to the conversation at her father's voice, decidedly more haggard than a few minutes previously. "I know you have to work, but you should be with friends and family on your birthday honey."

"All my friends are _at _work, Dad."

Jim chuckled, and Kate smiled. "I know that. I just wish you valued your birthdays a bit more. For a few awful hours your mother and I didn't think you'd have any more."

Kate felt her brows knot together in confusion. "What?"

"Nothing. Not important." Her father sounded flustered, which only served to further intrigue Kate.

"But I think it is. Tell me, Dad. It _is_ my birthday." She knew playing the '_it__'__s__my__birthday__' _card was vindictive, but she'd always been able to manipulate her father. It was a skill all daughters possessed. Sure she was a thirty-two year old woman but she still knew how to wrap her father around her little finger.

God. Thirty freaking two years old and still single. Still living alone. She knew most people couldn't pinpoint the year when birthdays stopped becoming something to look forward to and became something to dread, but Kate could. Her first birthday after her mother had died had been miserable, and ever since then her birthday had simply been another day to get through. She never told people when her birthday was coming up, only her father and Lanie actually knew when it was. Well, Castle knew by now.

Castle. She was not going to think about him. Not today. The fact that she hated being single on her birthday, hated the prospect of another year coming home to a cold bed, would not push her to thinking about him. Well, it was really her feelings for him she was hiding from, rather than the man himself.

Her father had been silent for too long, Kate had no choice but to use her detective tone of voice with him. "Dad. What is it?"

"It was your second birthday. God, you were adorable back then." Kate huffed in mock outrage and Jim backpedalled. "You're not so much adorable as strikingly beautiful now, sweetheart. Anyway."

Kate clambered out of bed and wandered through to her kitchen, smacking the button to start the coffee machine and perching on one of the barstools at the kitchen island while her father settled into his story.

"_Oh God, Jo, she's crying again." Jim poked his wife just under her ribs, the spot he knew woke her up faster than any place else. He knew all the places on his wife's body, and all the different things they could accomplish. They'd both been too tired recently to utilize certain areas, much to Jim's chagrin._

"_What did you think? That just because it's her birthday she might let us sleep in past," Johanna paused and looked at the clock on the nightstand before groaning, "five am." _

_Jim pulled a pillow over his face and moaned into it. "I was kinda hoping." He threw the pillow onto the floor and pulled himself out of bed. He stumbled across the floor – it was way too early to be turning lights on. He'd rather run the risk of serious injury than subject his eyes to that particular brand of torture._

_His wife also managed to drag herself from their bed and joined him. They made their way down the hall and into their daughter's room._

_Katie stood in her crib, clinging to the rails for support and screaming as loud as her tiny lungs would allow. Her beautiful features were marred by her agony, her usually milky skin a mottled shade of crimson. _

_Johanna rushed to their daughter's side and lifted her from the crib, holding Katie's tiny body to her chest and shushing her gently. Katie's head nestled into her mother's neck and she clung to her shirt, but her crying barely sank even one decibel in volume. Johanna began to pace back and forth, rocking their daughter and singing to her so quietly that Jim couldn't make out the words._

_Johanna turned to her husband, the despair on her face echoed on the face of their daughter. "There's something seriously wrong with her, Jim. I tried to feed her an hour ago and she threw it all back up. She's not even retaining water." A tear broke free from Johanna's control and rolled down her face, dropping to the polished oak floor of Katie's room. "I've taken her to the doctor's office four times and they just keep saying 'give her children's Tylenol' but I've tried that and it's not working and she's just getting worse and she's dehydrated and she won't stop crying and God, Jim." Johanna sucked in a heaving breath and let it out with a sob. "Something's really wrong." _

_Jim moved to his wife's side and enveloped both of his girls in his arms. "It's okay. Shush now, Katie, it's alright." His voice was low and deep, and his daughter mercifully stopped crying and turned to look at him, blinking away her blurred vision. The dark lashes framing her green eyes were clumping together with her tears, making them look even darker. Her perfect rosebud mouth opened in wonder at the sight of both her parent's faces looking down at her._

_She reached her arms out. "Dada." Jim took his daughter and held her close to his body. Johanna rested her arms on the edge of the crib and rested her head on them. She sighed, and Katie turned her head to look at her mother, perplexed._

_Jim walked over to his wife and tugged on her arm until she stood up. He gently placed his drowsy daughter back into her crib and then took Johanna's hand, leading her out of the room._

_In the hallway, his wife's knees gave out and she sank onto the unforgiving floor, curling into the fetal position and letting her sobs wrack her slender frame. Jim dropped to his knees and gently lifted her head until it rested in his lap. "Shhh, it's okay. Hush now, Joey. Sit up, love. It's okay."_

_Johanna moved to a sitting position, leaning heavily against her husband. Her head rested on his shoulder, and his arm moved around her waist, holding her to him. "Once it's light, if you're still not happy, we'll take her to the ER, okay?" She managed to nod and he kissed her hair. _

_Truthfully, he was just as sick with worry as his wife was. He was just doing his utmost to hide it. Johanna needed him to hold her up, and that was all there was to it._

_A half hour later the sun struggled its way up over the horizon. Johanna took it as a signal to check on their daughter._

_Jim was in the kitchen making a much-needed coffee for himself and his wife when she screamed. He dropped his favourite mug on the floor, not even stopping to acknowledge that it shattered all over their tiled kitchen floor. His wife's scream sounded like it had been forcibly torn from her._

_When he reached his daughter's room, Johanna was sitting on the floor, cradling Katie's limp body in her arms. Jim could tell just by looking that their baby was running a fever, her onesie clung to her tiny frame and he could see the dampness from the doorway. Johanna briefly looked up at her husband's entrance before returning her gaze to Katie._

_Jim moved over to where his wife sat and lifted his daughter into his arms. She weighed almost nothing anyway, and she hadn't eaten anything for a full three days now. As soon as Katie was gone from her arms Johanna seemed to wake up fully. She threw herself onto her feet and grabbed Katie's blanket from the crib. _

_The two of them didn't need words to communicate. They ran down the stairs, Jim only just remembering to lock the door behind them. The cool air of the early morning sent shivers down his spine, but did nothing to rouse their daughter. _

_The drive to the hospital passed in a sickening blur, and it seemed only seconds before they were rushing through the doors of the ER. Johanna almost collided with the reception desk in her haste. _

_The nurse manning the desk took one look at Katie and called a doctor. The man's face was lined with age, but his eyes were sympathetic. _

_He took Katie from her father's arms and carried her up to the children's ward, Jim and Johanna almost running to keep up. _

_An hour later, Katie lay in a cot in the pediatric ward. She had so many lines coming out of her that Jim was struggling not to sob every time he looked at her. His wife sat on a chair next to the cot, one hand trailing into it. She ran her index finger over their daughter's cheek over and over again, but she remained unconscious._

_She had septicemia. Blood poisoning, in layman's terms. He wasn't sure which name for the thing that had almost taken his daughter made him feel most nauseous. The doctor had told them that if they'd left it another couple of hours, they would have lost her. _

_The thought was incomprehensible. Katie was their life now. Everything Jim and Johanna did was for her. Jim's gaze remained on his wife. Watching her, even utterly broken as she was, was easier than watching his baby girl fighting for her life. _

_A tear escaped his wife's control and rolled down her face._

"_Joey, she's gonna be okay. They're taking good care of her. It'll be fine."_

_His wife turned to look at him, her eyes ringed with red. "We never tell her about this, okay? Her second birthday was a lovely family occasion. Perfect." She choked back a song as Jim nodded. "I can't relive this, Jim. I can't."_

_He moved his chair over so he could hold her hand. "I know, honey. I know. She doesn't need to know. It's okay."_

_Katie came home from the hospital a week later. They celebrated her birthday the day after, as if nothing had happened._

Kate was stunned into silence for a long moment. She'd almost died. Damn. That story had managed to erase any trace of birthday cheer she'd felt earlier. "Dad, why have you never told me this before?"

Her father sighed. "We didn't tell you when you were younger because your mother told me she couldn't bear to relive that day. That week. And, of course, I humored her."

Kate grinned. Her mother had always had her father wrapped around her little finger. "But why now?"

Jim laughed. "I didn't mean to tell you. It just sort of…happened."

Kate laughed too then. She slid off the stool and wandered back through to her bedroom. It was getting late and she had to be at the precinct soon. "Thank you for calling, Dad."

"No problem sweetheart. You know I always want to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday."

It was true, her father always called her to wish her a happy birthday, and he always tried to do so before anyone else got the chance.

"Bye, Dad. We'll have dinner this weekend, okay?"

"Okay. See you then."

Kate hung up and dropped her phone onto the counter, staring at it while she gathered her thoughts. Hearing stories from her childhood always stung now, she'd never get to hear her mother's side of the story.

It was weird to know that she'd almost died thirty years ago. She found, completely irrationally, that it made her crave life. She had to do something about her pathetic excuse for a life this year.

Her phone vibrated with the arrival of a new text message. She picked it up and couldn't help but grin when she saw the sender. Castle texted her all the time nowadays, and sometimes just called her for no reason whatsoever.

She was over trying to pretend she didn't have feelings for him. She just wasn't ready to _act_ on them yet.

She tapped her phone's screen to open the message.

_Not coming in today, I've got a lot of writing to do. See you tomorrow._

She grinned. Castle steadfastly refused to give in and use 'text speak'. His texts were always grammatically perfect, even down to his use of apostrophes.

Huh. Maybe he didn't know it was her birthday. After all, if he had, she was sure he would have wished her a happy birthday. Wouldn't he?

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><p><em>Alright, so Bee was up first. I'm next. Let's hope I can live up to her awesome first chapter.<em>

_We have an awesome poster made by the lovely oh-castle on Tumblr so if you wanna check that out then the link to my Tumblr is on my blog and Bee's Tumblr is her0ineaddict._

_Review? Please? We'll love you. And, if our joy and love is not enough for you, I guess we could make you some virtual cookies or something. (I am clearly not above bribes.) _


	2. Chapter 2

She dropped the pen as she crossed her last 't' and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, groaning and arching her back to stretch her stiff muscles. It was a slow day, clearing the last remnants of the case they'd closed the night before off of the murder board and then a day full of nothing but paperwork. Groaning again, she cursed whatever higher powers she could think of for this cruel joke. _Happy birthday, Kate, now here's a wild and crazy day of signing your name for hours on end! _Yippee.

She turned her head in an attempt to stretch her neck and caught a glimpse of the birthday gift the boys had left on her desk this morning. Somehow they'd managed to get here earlier than her for once in their careers, leaving her a giant thermos of coffee and a card that addressed her as "Slave Driver". It really shouldn't have made her smile like it did, but nobody was around to see her find it anyway. Really, she was just a little bit touched that they'd remembered. She'd never tell anyone that, of course. But she allowed herself to secretly appreciate their brotherly present.

She never called attention to her birthday, didn't like to make a big fuss. She was never one for galas and giant parties, even when she was younger she wasn't the kid that invited everyone they'd ever met over for a big birthday bash. She was just hoping for a quiet night at home this evening and then have that nice dinner with her dad this weekend. She could do with a night of relaxation, maybe a bubble bath and a book from her Russian literature collection. She chuckled at her birthday plans and shook her head. They probably weren't what her father had envisioned when he'd called her this morning. Too bad, she'd let him do it his way when she was a kid.

_"Come on, Katie! There's another present for you in the kitchen!" She gasped and looked up at her father, holding his hand out to her as her mother filmed the crazy mess of kids at their dining room table. There was cake everywhere – on her friends' hands, smothered on their faces, squished into the carpet beneath her toes, some had even found its way into her hair. _

_ "Really?" Her dad's grin widened, probably at the hope and excitement in her voice._

_ "Yeah, Katie. Hurry up or someone else might take it!" She dashed out of her seat, almost slipping on a bit of icing before regaining her footing and racing for the kitchen door. Whipping the door open she stood completely still and let a piercing squeal escape her mouth. They'd really gotten her one? _

_ "Mom, look!" She turned around and looked for her mother, her eyes finally landing on her mom's amused face as she took in her daughter's excitement. She could feel herself practically vibrating with pent up energy. _

_ "Go on, honey. Check it out!" Letting out another squeal, she ran up to the brand new bike and touched the seat almost reverently. It was exactly like the one she'd been hoping for: midnight blue with none of those little kid tassels or annoying bells. _

_ "It's perfect." She looked up at her parents, both of them standing in the doorway with smiles on their face. Her mom was watching her, pure unbridled glee making itself known as it sparkled in her eyes, but her dad's eyes were flicking back and forth between her mom and her, a tender smile playing on his face. "Thank you!" She ran full throttle into her parents, arms outstretched as she bulldozed into their bodies. She felt their arms come around her and she buried her face into her mom's stomach, completely ignoring the loud chatter of children in the next room._

She didn't even try to stop the soft smile that sprang to life at the memory, affection pulling at the corners of her mouth. Her mom had filmed every one of her birthdays until she was she hit her teens and had told her parents that it made her feel like a child. That was also the phase when she only responded to Katherine. Funny how teenagers always thought they were older and much more sophisticated than they really were. But even when she hit those years of rebellion, she still hadn't been the kind of girl that loved big parties. In fact, she could count the number of parties that could be considered big on one hand.

_ Once her parents gave the all clear, kids sprinted toward the massive waterslide, completely ignoring the "No Running" signs all around them. But, really, did anyone actually follow that particular rule? She didn't think so. Taking off after her friends, clad in her new bright purple bathing suit, she felt water splash against her calves as she hit a puddle. _

_ "Katie Beckett, get back here!" She stopped short, turning to see her mother raising that dreaded eyebrow at her. She was holding up a plastic bag and some medical tape, waving them in her direction. No. No, no, no – not on her birthday! Her friends were all here! _

_ "But Mom!" She whined, feeling more drops hit her legs as she subtly stomped her foot in the small pool of water. _

_ "Oh no, missy. You get right back here and let me put this on you. That's what you get for climbing too high and breaking your fall with your hand. It's your own fault your wrist is broken, now come deal with the consequences." Her mother glared at her, that eyebrow still raised high on her forehead. She tried to glare back, probably looking foolish when compared to her mother's death stare. Giving up, she blew her bangs out of her face and stalked back to her parents. _

_ "Fine." She pouted and held her arm out, letting her mom slip the plastic bag over the cast on her arm. As her mom secured the bag with the medical tape she started bouncing up and down, getting antsy and wanting to go have fun with her friends. Not only was she missing out, but now she had to wear a bag on her arm for the rest of the day too. _

_ "Don't pout, you're the one who insisted on having your party at the water park even though you knew you'd still have the cast. God knows it was hard enough to find an indoor water park open in November." Putting the final touches on the bag, her mom patted her arm as a signal that the bag was secure and she was able to run off and find her friends. She ran a few steps in the direction of the waterslides before turning back and throwing her arms around her mother. _

_ "Sorry, Mom." She whispered into her mom's shoulder before leaning back to look at her face. Her mother's hand came up to cradle her chin before she smiled and gave her cheek a quick pat. _

_ "Go have fun, Katie. It is your tenth birthday after all. You should enjoy it."_

She brought a hand to her chest, trying to alleviate some of the pressure building up there. Her heart was being squeezed. God, it had to be. The memory was crushing her chest and tightly gripping her heart in its hands. She'd learned how to deal with the pain of missing her mother over years and years of living with it. Usually it stayed dormant somewhere in her mind, always lurking but not making itself known until she allowed it to.

But sometimes she turned a blind corner and there it was, barreling towards her, and all she could to was stand there with that deer in headlights look on her face while it hit her head on. She missed her mom. She missed her so goddamned much. What she would give for just one more day with her, one more birthday. It crushed her to think of all of those days that she'd already had but had chosen to waste.

_The honking of Vin's horn brought her out of her fog – she'd know that honk anywhere – and she jumped up from her bed and quickly checked herself out in the mirror. Pushing her purple streak behind her ear, she grinned at the image in the mirror as she deemed herself appropriately hot. Giving into a girlish wiggle of excitement, she bolted out the door and down the stairs as another long honk broke through the silence. _

_ "Kate, where are you going?" Her dad's head popped out of the living room as she crept down the hallway, trying and failing to be noiseless. She really should've just used the fire escape. _

_ "I'm going out." She kept her reply short and sweet, hoping he wouldn't question it._

_ "Where and with wh–?" No such luck. Her father's eyes narrowed as another honk cut his question short. _

_ "Vin's taking me out tonight." She folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes, as if she was really just going to stay in with her parents on her sixteenth birthday. Not likely. _

_ "What?" Her dad sprang up from his chair but before he could get far a hand shot into view and pressed against his chest, her mother never could resist a good argument. It was the curse of being a lawyer. _

_ "Honey, let me." She heard her mother's voice quietly tell her dad to go make some popcorn and she was just about to quietly slip through the door before her mom turned her eyes on her. She didn't look mad. Huh, maybe she could make a deal and get out of this unscathed. "So, you're going out with Vincent, huh?" Oh god, why couldn't her mom just call him by his nickname?_

_ "Mom, his name is Vin. And yeah, we're going out." She raised her eyebrow at her mother, something she'd perfected after years of imitation. Her mother, never one to back down from a challenge, raised hers as well. _

_ "You know, your father and I were planning to watch a movie with you. Maybe go out to dinner later if you wanted. I even took the night off." She could read that for what it was: a guilt trip. That may have worked a couple years ago, but not now. _

_ "I'm sixteen. I don't want to spend my birthday with my parents. Can't we do that another night? Plus, this way you and Dad can go out to dinner together. You guys never get to spend time alone anymore." Oh, she knew exactly how to play this. Despite that eyebrow climbing higher, her mom actually looked like she was considering it. Another honk seemed to spur her into making a decision. _

_ "Fine. Go have fun with Vincent." Her mom made sure to put special emphasis on her boyfriend's given name. Ew. His name was Vin. Why couldn't she just call him that? But she wasn't about to contradict her when she'd just said she could leave. So, before her mom changed her mind, she fled the house, trying to ignore her dad's grumbling about how that boy was going to force him to buy a shotgun one day. _

She shook her head and chuckled to herself, she definitely would've been better off going to dinner with her parents. She'd spent most of that night in the backseat of Vin's car. Of course, at the time that was way more appealing than a night with her boring parents. Even just thinking back on it, she felt bad for ditching them. Though they'd hid it well, she could tell that they'd been disappointed. Her parents always made a big deal out of her birthday, even when she didn't.

But once her mom had died, so did that cheerful and family-oriented part of her father. He didn't make a big deal out of holidays and he sure as hell didn't make a big deal out of her birthday. Their only birthday tradition was that early morning phone call, and that only lasted minutes. The only person who made her birthday into something fun and eventful was Castle, actually. Though this year he'd hardly mentioned it. In fact, he hadn't said anything about it. That was out of the ordinary. Usually Castle was trying to shove presents at her left and right, sneaking them into her desk drawers when she wasn't looking. Last year he'd cancelled on his publisher and his agent just so he could spend the day singing happy birthday in her ear. Wait, last year he'd cancelled all of his important meetings.

There was no way he'd stayed home to voluntarily write on her birthday this year. There was absolutely no freakin' way. That man was absolutely over the top when it came to things like this. Hell, last year she'd had to talk him out of renting a blimp for Alexis' birthday. No, he wasn't writing. He couldn't be. But then why wasn't he here? Come to think of it, everyone was acting pretty odd recently

Lanie had been suspiciously non-intrusive about her birthday plans this year, the boys kept giving each other secretive grins whenever anyone mentioned birthdays, and the only time Castle had brought up her birthday was to ask if she had anything planned for that night. Oh. _Oh._

He was throwing her a surprise party. Goddamn him. He knew she hated surprises. He knew that she didn't like to focus too much on her birthday. Damn him. Damn that sweet, caring man. Before she fully chastised herself for that last thought, her phone alerted her to a new message. Probably Castle, luring her to his "surprise" party. She had to admit, she was a little curious.

_Hey, can you come over for a bit? I have something I wanna talk to you about. :)_

Flimsy work, Castle. That one was definitely not his best. She debated teasing him for a moment, telling him that she was tired and really just wanted to go home. But then she thought of him anxiously sending the text and making sure that everything was perfect just for her and she couldn't make herself put him more on edge. Sending a confirmation back, she leant back in her chair and smiled, chuckling at her all too sweet little kid of a partner.

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><p><em>Let's hope I lived up to the awesomeness set up by Bee. <em>

_Review? I can't even begin to express how grateful we are for all of the support thus far. Care to render us speechless yet again? _


	3. Chapter 3

Neither of the boys so much as bothered to look at her as she put on her coat and grabbed her bag.

"Guys, I'll be back soon."

They both looked up then and smiled at her before immediately resuming work. She smirked to herself. Of course, knowing that Castle had something waiting for her made their behavior easier to detect, but even if she'd been oblivious she was quite sure her boys would have given the game away.

She'd made the decision to play along with the surprise party Castle had so obviously planned for her. It would be more fun that way. To be honest, she was touched that he'd gone to so much trouble and she didn't want to ruin it for him.

She took a cab to his loft. She didn't doubt that there would be alcohol at this party, and she never drove if she was even slightly intoxicated.

"_Katherine Beckett, get back here!" Her dad called for her as she was already halfway out the front door. She sighed, but turned back to him._

"_What's up, Dad?" Her father stood in the hallway, watching her. She didn't know where her mother was, probably in her bedroom going over a case or something. _

"_I know you just turned eighteen and you want to go out and have a good time, but please be careful. Remember you can't legally drink yet." She sighed. Her father was generally the more relaxed of her parents, but sometimes he could be so uptight._

"_I'll be careful, Dad. Anyway, I'm gonna be with Maddie. One of us has to be sensible and I'm sure it won't be her."_

_Her father scowled at that. He wasn't a huge fan of Maddie, mainly because the bubbly blonde was always the life of the party. Her dad didn't want her surrounding herself with people like that, but Maddie was fun and sometimes she needed that._

_Her mother appeared from the main room, wrapped in a silk robe and looking superior as always. "Katherine, please behave like the responsible adult you are now." It wasn't a request so much as a command, which immediately made Kate want to disobey her._

"_Of course, Mother." Her tone dripped with sarcasm and her mother's eyebrows knitted together. She couldn't remember the last time she'd called her mother 'Mom.' Their relationship was strained to say the least. Johanna disapproved of everything Kate did. The fact that she was dating a motorcyclist. That she hadn't chosen a major yet. That she didn't really have any idea what she wanted to do with herself. Her mother was so driven that sometimes Kate felt stuck in her shadow, too afraid to branch out and do what she wanted._

"_Remember, you absolutely must not have any alcohol. And if you do, absolutely do not drive." She scowled at her mother and left the house without deigning to respond. _

_Maddie was waiting for her outside on the street. Kate grinned and tossed her car keys in her palm. The two of them piled in and Maddie directed Kate to an 'incredible' bar she'd found a couple of months previously._

Kate drank more that night than she ever drank again. They had fake IDs so the fact that they were well under the age limit wasn't a hindrance. She slept for a solid twelve hours at Maddie's place afterwards, and spent the next twenty four throwing up. Of course, it had been horrific. But it had also been brilliant. It had been a rebellion against her mother and that had made her hangover from hell worth it.

She had paid heed to her mother's advice and they'd taken a cab back to Maddie's house. Kate had returned to the bar to collect her car a few days later.

It had felt like an inconvenience. But even while she so desperately wanted to rebel against her mother, she knew that her advice was always sensible. So she followed it.

Of course _now_, she'd give anything to go back and enjoy the penultimate birthday her mother would be alive to see with her.

She'd gotten so lost in memories that she was a little surprised to find herself outside Castle's door already. She took a deep breath and forced the tension from her shoulders.

She hated being the center of attention, but for him she'd pretend to like it. She knocked on the door and he opened it almost immediately.

She walked into his loft and he took her coat. She slipped out of her heels and placed them neatly by the door. She walked further in and braced herself for the shouts of 'surprise' and the hoards of people.

Nothing came.

He turned to look at her and chuckled at the confusion on her face. "Looking for something?" Her gaze snapped to his face, her eyes wide with uncertainty.

She chewed on her lower lip, trying to figure out how to phrase her thoughts without sounding disappointed. Or like a petulant child. "I figured you were gonna throw me a surprise party."

He moved nearer to her but didn't touch her, although she could see in every line of his body how badly he wanted to. "I was, you're right. But you don't like to be the center of attention. Mother, Alexis, your father, Lanie and the boys will all be here soon. I didn't invite anyone else."

She was almost moved to tears. It still shocked her sometimes, how well he knew her. How much he loved her. "Wow. Castle…I. Thank you."

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "Did I do the right thing?"

She smiled back, the stupid smile that showed all her teeth. The one she couldn't control. "Yeah. Yeah, you did."

He met her eyes, his gaze intense. She loved when he looked at her like that. Like his vision had narrowed until he was her whole world. She hated it too, of course. A person without boundaries, without walls, would just lean in and kiss him. But she couldn't. No matter how badly she wanted to, she couldn't.

He laughed and the mood shattered. It dissolved into something brighter, lighter, and she was glad. The intensity of his feelings for her was too heavy for her to carry. Not on her birthday.

He gestured to his dining room table. It was piled with food. Everything she ever could have wanted was there. All her favorites. She walked over to take a closer look, but she wouldn't touch any of it. Not until everyone else arrived, anyway.

Sitting proudly in the centre of the table was a three tiered cake stand, adorned with cupcakes. He followed her gaze to his impromptu birthday cake. "I wanted to make it a little more interesting than an average birthday cake. And this way it can be shared equally."

She grinned and turned to him. "You make them?"

He shook his head, his eyes soft. "No. Alexis did."

Alexis. Jesus. His daughter made her a birthday cake. She was hit with a wave of gratitude and guilt. She did not deserve that girl. Or her father. Either of them.

She was supposed to respond. God, she was bad at this. "Alexis did? Wow. I…" She tried to think of something to say that would convey how deeply that struck her, but she was lost for words. Maybe that in itself would tell him. "Wow."

He was watching her with reverence. She wanted to turn away. He wasn't saying anything, and neither was she and someone had to soon, _please_.

Kate had never been so happy to hear a knock at the door. Castle seemed to visibly snap out of some sort of trance and crossed the room to open the door. Esposito and Ryan stood on the other side, and Kate allowed herself a silent sigh of relief.

The boys moved into the loft and the tension drained from Kate's shoulders. She was safe now. The boys had her back.

Castle couldn't force her into a conversation she wasn't ready for.

Esposito was brandishing wine and Kate forced herself to pay attention to him.

"I'm tellin' ya bro. This stuff? Gold."

Ryan smacked his partner in the arm. "You're really gonna try and compete with the millionaire?"

Esposito's face dropped like a small child who'd just had their favourite toy taken. Kate's lips twitched. Her boys were ridiculously childish, all three of them.

She decided it was maybe time to speak. She had just been standing there silently observing them since they arrived. "Hey guys. Look. Food."

Both Ryan and Esposito immediately fixed their gazes on the table. "We have to wait for the ladies, right, bro?" Esposito nudged his partner. "Yeah. Okay."

Kate laughed at them. They both looked affronted, but she could see their eyes shining with mirth.

The loft door was still open, and Lanie sauntered through it like she owned the place. She nodded her head in acknowledgment of Castle, who stood by the door checking something on his phone.

Ah, that was why the door was still open. He was once again distracted by technology.

Lanie walked across the room and wrapped Kate in a hug. "Hey, girl. Happy birthday. You having a good day so far?"

"Actually, yeah."

Lanie squeezed her before letting go. She moved back slightly and held onto Kate's upper arms, forcing her to make eye contact. "Not missing her too much?"

Kate shrugged lightly. "It's there. But it's not at the forefront of my mind, you know?"

Lanie nodded and let go of Kate, turning to face Castle. "Hey writer boy, when are your girls getting here?"

Castle grinned. "Well, two of them are already here."

Lanie sighed. "I'm not your girl, Castle."

Kate could feel Ryan and Esposito's eyes on her. She had to deny it. But did she? She had once referred to herself as his 'one writer girl'. This wasn't so different, right?

Castle turned to look at her as well. She stayed silent and an easy smile spread across his face. His eyes softened at the edges, and even from several feet away she could feel the warmth radiating from him. Warmth that he felt for her.

"They'll be here any minute."

Lanie nodded and moved over to Castle's extensive speaker system, pressing the button to turn it on and sticking her iPod onto the top of it. She selected a playlist and soft jazz filled the room. She turned to face Kate's raised eyebrow. "I thought we could have something a bit quieter since we're gonna be eating and talking."

Kate smiled and nodded her agreement. Alexis and Martha appeared through the door before Lanie had time to harass Kate. Usually, the ME wanted to know every single detail of Kate's birthday. And the fact that Castle had thrown this gathering would only add fuel to the fire.

So the appearance of the youngest Castle and her grandmother brought a surge of relief to Kate.

Both Alexis and Martha hugged Castle upon entering. As a family, all three were very much about the physical displays of affection. Kate wasn't. She didn't really like to hug. But somehow, with Alexis and Martha, she didn't mind so much. The two of them almost bounced over to Kate and threw their arms around her. She laughed and returned the hug, catching Castle's eye over Martha's shoulder.

She knew what his expression was. She just didn't know how to handle it. how to cope with the fact that seeing the three of them together, he had the future he longed for written all over his face.

Castle shook his head lightly and then addressed the room. "Okay, everybody's here, let's eat."

Everyone moved at once to the table, so Kate hung back a little. She felt the warmth of him at her back and turned her head slightly to look at him.

His voice was deep and quiet, meant just for her. "Is this alright?"

"Yes. It's perfect. Thank you, Rick."

She wasn't sure why she'd used his first name. It just seemed fitting, and judging by the grin that spread across his face, he was definitely not opposed to its use.

He held her plate for her as she selected a little of everything from the enormous buffet.

Once everyone had a plate of food, they sat around his living room. Easy conversation filled the air, frequently penetrated with peals of laughter.

Everyone lay around on various couches, chairs and blankets, completely sated. They'd all eaten more than they had for a long time.

The food that Castle and his daughter had made was rich and delicious. Kate hadn't known that Castle was quite so talented in the kitchen. She'd had her doubts, but he'd declared that he'd made everything himself with the help of his daughter, and both the girl herself and her grandmother supported his claims.

Esposito groaned and rolled over. He was lying on a blanket on the floor, having affirmed that he was 'too full for the couch to be comfortable.'

He opened his eyes and sat up. "Hey guys? I think I know what will distract us from our fullness. How about a game of Scrabble?"

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><p><em>Merry Christmas! <em>

_Review? Make it your Christmas present to us. _


	4. Chapter 4

"Come on!" Esposito threw up his arms and gaped at the writer. "That is so not a word."

"Are you seriously telling that to an author?" Castle was sitting across the table from the disgruntled detective, trying not to laugh. He was doing a pretty good job of it, a skill he'd no doubt formed over years of poker playing and plastering on the right mask for each occasion. She saw through it, of course. His eyes always gave him away and now they had mirth dancing in them.

"He's got a point, Espo." She chimed in and watched the detective's eyes as they narrowed at her and his shoulders slumped at being ganged up on.

"Fine, then tell me what lickspittle means." She had to admit, it certainly _sounded_ made up. But if there was anything she'd learned through her job, sometimes the outrageous was the truth. Hell, Castle's theories sometimes turned out to be based in truth and it didn't get more ridiculous that that.

"If you must know, it means a flattering or submissive person." Castle answered, challenge clear in his voice.

"Bull."

"Alexis, could you go get me a dictionary?" The girl stood up, shaking her head at the two adults – though the term could be used loosely – and trotted into her father's office. A few moments later, she emerged with a large book and handed it to Esposito.

"Sorry, Detective. But he's right." She sent a sympathetic smile his way, probably remembering a time when she'd had the same debate with her dad. "Look it up for yourself." He grabbed the dictionary and grumbled as he flipped through it, mumbling what were most likely not very flattering words in Spanish. It was almost comically obvious when he found it, his jaw dropping as he looked up at the writer with wide eyes.

"Are you kidding me? It's an actual word!" She could hear Ryan and Jenny laughing loudly behind them on the couch, their barks of laughter earning them both a glare from the Irishman's partner. "Fine, I accept that it's a word. But you," he pointed at Castle who had also lost the battle against laughing, "are not allowed to play anymore."

"What? Why?" She shook her head and rolled her eyes, catching Alexis doing the same. The two shared a companionable smirk before Esposito answered.

"Because you're a writer! Dude, you so have an unfair advantage." Martha returned from the kitchen with a fresh glass of water, gracefully lowering herself into a nearby chair. There was an affectionate smile forming on her lips as she watched the two argue back and forth.

"May I remind you that you are the one who chose the game?" He punctuated his statement with a raise of his eyebrow. "But fine, I'll be a gracious host and give up my place to whoever wants it." Jenny quickly took his place and while she definitely wasn't a writer she still managed to carry on Castle's legacy and find words in what looked like nonsense.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Turning her head to the side, she found Castle's face entirely too close to her own. When did that happen?

"I was under the impression that the whole 'we need to talk' thing was just so I'd come over." She smiled at him, a part of her pleased by the fact that he hadn't moved away. That she hadn't even thought to move back. That was definitely a step forward.

"It had a bit of truth to it." He shrugged and stood up, grinning from above her. She followed him into his office, nobody else seeming to notice their sudden departure as Alexis defended her own word.

"Trying to get me alone, Mr. Castle?" She looked at him through her lashes and parted her lips slightly. Nothing wrong with a little teasing. Nothing wrong with that at all.

"Uh," he gulped before seeming to regain control, "I have something for you." The smirk immediately fell from her face.

"Castle, I thought I told you that I didn't want anything." They'd had this discussion before. Hell, they had this discussion every single year. She told him that she didn't want anything for her birthday and he got her something anyway. That's just how it had worked from the beginning. Did she expect him to actually start listening?

"Did you expect me to actually listen to that?" Whoa. Sometimes she forgot that they tended to be on the same wavelength. Consider herself reminded.

"Fine. But next year, no presents." It was the line she always used. The one she fed him every year. The one that was always betrayed by the smile on her face.

"Happy Birthday, Beckett." He grinned and plucked a box off of his desk, holding it out to her. It was encased in deep maroon paper, gold ribbon winding its way around it before coming together to form a bow.

Slowly, she unwrapped the present. She knew Castle would've preferred that she have at it with abandon, tearing the paper and quickly releasing whatever this was from its confines. But she worked slowly, methodically. It felt like a book. So then it couldn't be too meaningful, right? A book wouldn't have the possibility to undo her. But then why was Castle looking at her with a mix of hesitancy and reverence? And why was she holding her present with the same mixture of reverence and nervousness?

It was a book. A beautiful leather bound copy of A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, the golden letters standing out against the deep brown of the leather. It looked old, really old.

"How did you know?" She kept on staring at the book, running her fingers lightly over the title. "How did you know that this is my favorite book?"

"I will never reveal my secrets." She looked up at him then, watching the tender smile on his face. _This _man. This man that knew her so well without her even realizing it. "Look inside."

"What?" She felt her eyebrows knit together and cocked her head at him.

"Look inside. There's an inscription." She felt her eyes widen as she held the book tightly against her chest.

"You _wrote_ in it?"

"No, no." He held up his hands as if to ward her off. "The inscription was there before I bought it. I thought you might like it. It's like a story inside of a story, you know?" She slowly opened the front cover, the scent of paper and ink and imagination hitting her as she read the words written there. "Plus, I thought it was appropriate."

_Caroline,_

_As long as you'll let me stay, I promise never to leave you. We're in this together, kid. Every single moment. Every single way. _

_Victor_

She was wrong. Oh god, she was so far beyond wrong. This book did have the power to undo her. How could he possibly know her so well? Her vision started to blur but she was not about to let a tear free. Not in front of him. Not when it was his thoughtful and completely perfect gift that brought her to it. He'd never know how much he affected her. Well, perhaps he would someday. But not now.

"Castle," she sucked in a breath and found the courage to look up from the words and into his eyes, "thank you."

"You like it?" She doesn't think she's ever seen him so unsure of himself before, so insecure. And over a book. Over her.

"I love it. It's perfect." She grinned at him and threw her arms around his neck, not letting herself think about the action for too long. Judging by his sharp intake of breath and the few seconds before his arms wrapped around her waist, she'd surprised him. Good, if he was going to blindside her then the least she could do was return the favor. "Really, Castle, thank you." She mumbled it into his neck, still unable to control her grin

"You're welcome, Kate." She felt him squeeze a little tighter before slowly withdrawing. She slid her arms down his chest and let them rest back at her side, one hand clutching the book in its grip.

"So as long as I _let_ you, huh?" She smirked at him and brought the book back up to her chest, not quite ready to let go of it just yet.

"Well, technically that was from Victor to Caroline, whoever they are. I tried to find their story, you know. But to no avail, the inscription wasn't much to go on." He ran his hand down the book as she cradled it to her body. She had a feeling he'd spent a long time looking at that inscription.

"I like not knowing. They can be anyone with any story. Leaves it to the imagination. Plus, that way I can tell myself they had a happy ending." Before she could squelch the thought, she found herself hoping that she and Castle had a happy ending. That they followed in the footsteps of her imaginary Caroline and Victor. She hoped they beat the odds.

He turned his head to the door and she became aware of their surroundings, the people currently howling in the next room coming back to her memory. Right. Not alone. When he looked back at her she shot him a grin and bumped his chest with her shoulder.

"C'mon, we better get back out there." She said and started walking to the door, tucking the book under her arm.

"Yeah, don't want to be gone too long." He waggled his eyebrows at her, giving her a lecherous smirk. "Who knows what they'd assume?"

"Castle, your daughter is out there. What exactly do you want her assuming?" That certainly shut him up. She laughed and turned back around just as she reached the door, a hand resting on the doorknob as she leaned against the office door. Looking up at him, she couldn't help the massive grin that spread across her face and then to his. Soon, she told herself. She'd give him her heart soon enough. But for now, she could give him something else.

"It's gonna be hard for you to top this birthday next year, Castle." Next year. She'll still be here, teasing him and throwing around theories. And who knows? Maybe it'll be different in a year. Maybe by then she'll be following through with her teasing. Then again, maybe not. But they'll still be here together. Always will be.

"As long as you'll let me, I'm happy to try." _As long as you'll let me stay, I promise never to leave you._

"I'll always let you."

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><p><em>And the story comes to a close. A giant thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed and given their support. We wouldn't have been able to do this without you guys. Now, last but certainly not least...<em>

_Happy birthday, Elle!_


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